A dressmaker is facing backlash from a friend after declining to make her wedding dress due to her own pregnancy. Despite having made dresses for two other friends in the past, the timing of the request posed significant challenges. The ensuing disagreement has caused tension within their friend group.

I am a 38-year-old woman and a dressmaker with my own shop. It has been a custom in my friend group that my wedding gift to friends who marry has been an original wedding dress made to their taste. I have done this for two friends. I love my job and I love my friends, so it has always been an easy choice for me. However, I am currently 26 weeks pregnant with my first child and trying to lessen my workload as I prepare for my maternity leave and pass larger projects over to my employees.
My friend informed me last night that she is getting married. I was, of course, so happy for her and congratulated her. She asked if I would be making her dress for her, and I told her, of course, to just let me know when they had a date. She told me they already had a date: January 19th. That was fine—a year and five months seemed perfect, plenty of time to do the designs and make it, and I expressed as much to her. But she corrected me. It wasn’t January 19, 2026 as I assumed, but January 19, 2025. I was a bit shocked at this and told her that if that was the date she picked, I would have to take back my promise, as there is no way I can make her dress in that time frame, as I will not be too long post-partum.
I asked her to reconsider the date if she wanted me to make a dress, pointing out how five months wasn't much time to plan a wedding anyway. But she insisted that was when she wanted it. I didn’t push, as it was up to her, but I made it clear I would not be able to make her dress for her then.
She didn’t understand this at all, pointing out how I’ll be taking time off work soon anyway, and can't I just use that time to make her dress? I admit in hindsight I got a bit snappish here, and she likely didn’t realize just how much work goes into a wedding dress, but I asked her if she had hit her head and why she thought it was okay to ask me to put stress on my pregnancy for her wedding dress?
She has been putting messages in the group chat calling me out for it and saying how it’s easy to tell who my favorites are, and it’s clear her feelings are hurt.
I’m annoyed but also feeling a bit regretful about this. I can’t trust my employees to make a wedding dress without me, as their skill level isn’t up to that. But maybe I could have a rehearsal dinner dress made for her or even a reception dress to soothe the hurt of her not getting the custom dress she wants.

The general sentiment of the comments is overwhelmingly supportive of the dressmaker. The most common judgement is that the friend is being selfish and unrealistic, considering that making a custom wedding dress requires a significant amount of time and effort, which is not feasible during pregnancy and the postpartum period. Commenters expressed disbelief at the friend's audacity to expect the dressmaker to use her maternity leave to create the dress and highlighted that the dressmaker's health and well-being, as well as her baby's, should come first. Many suggested that the friend does not deserve such a generous gift and that the dressmaker should not feel guilty for prioritizing her own needs. The consensus is that the friend is being unreasonable and the dressmaker is in no way wrong for refusing the request.

Among the top comments, the first remark highlights the immense generosity of the dressmaker, emphasizing that creating a custom wedding dress is a significant undertaking, and accusing the friend of being incredibly ungrateful. The commenter states, "You are in NO way wrong here. She is though, and I'd suggest that given her attitude, she does not deserve a dress from you." This comment mirrors the general sentiment that the dressmaker should not have to endure unnecessary stress, especially during her pregnancy.

Another popular comment underscores the audacity of the bride-to-be, pointing out her ignorance about the complexities of making a wedding dress and her insensitivity towards the physical demands of pregnancy and postpartum recovery. The commenter said, "You're growing a human and then you will be birthing a tiny human and then recovering from giving birth while taking care of a newborn... where does she think wedding gown making is going to go amid all of that? My gosh." This perspective resonates with many others who feel the friend's demands are unreasonable and indicative of a lack of understanding and empathy.

Finally, a third highly-rated comment elaborated on the challenges inherent to both custom dressmaking and new motherhood. The commenter explains, "A custom-made, one-of-a-kind gown that is the bride's exact taste is no small gift. OP is definitely not wrong given the tight turnaround and the fact that she is growing a little human, but if I were her, I'd seriously be questioning the friendship." This viewpoint encapsulates the broader consensus that the dressmaker's offer was extremely generous, and the friend's reaction was not only ungrateful but also suggested a deeper issue in their friendship.

The dressmaker's story has sparked a wave of support from those who understand the intricate and labor-intensive process of crafting a custom wedding gown, especially under the constraints of impending motherhood. The general consensus is clear: her friend’s demands were unreasonable and lacked empathy for the physical and emotional demands of pregnancy and caring for a newborn. This situation serves as a poignant reminder that true friendship should involve understanding and mutual respect, not entitlement and unreasonable expectations. Ultimately, the dressmaker should prioritize her own well-being and that of her baby, and not feel obligated to fulfill such an overwhelming request under the circumstances.