A 19-year-old woman recently shared a deeply personal and disturbing story about her tumultuous childhood. Forced to live under the same roof as her childhood bully, she reveals how her parents' decision to adopt the girl who tormented her led to a fractured family and a lifetime of emotional scars.

My parents started fostering when I, a 19-year-old female, was six years old. My younger brother was three at the time. I never had a problem with it initially; it felt normal, and I got along with many of the foster siblings who came to live with us. This changed when Amy came into the picture.
I met Amy in second grade. She was new to my class, and we just did not get along. I remember other kids saying she was mad at me, and I had no idea why. We had only known each other for a few days at that point. I thought if she was mad at me for nothing, then I would be mad at her. We clashed a lot. In third grade, she started bullying me. She would throw my lunch on the floor and step on it, make up lies about me farting to get other kids to make fun of me, and tell the teacher she wouldn't sit or work with "freaky eye"—I have a scar across my left eye. She also called me evil like Scar from The Lion King. The scar gave her plenty of ammunition and eventually, I became very self-conscious about it. My parents knew about the bullying, as they were called in to speak to teachers and the principal.
It turned out that Amy was a foster kid, and guess who decided to take her in? My parents. We were ten years old when my parents decided to adopt her. People asked my parents how I felt about it, and they lied, saying I was good with it and excited to help Amy and get along with her better. This was a lie. I screamed the house down when I found out and begged my parents not to adopt her.
My brother didn't like Amy either. She had used him against me many times at school, and he knew about it. My parents blamed me for my brother and Amy not getting closer. When I was 15, we had a major fight. My parents told me Amy was as much my sibling as my brother was, and they were unhappy that I didn't acknowledge her as such. I told them I never would, that they could adopt her 100 times and I still wouldn't call her my sister. I told them they chose helping her over protecting me. I expressed that I wished she had stayed in foster care forever and that nobody had ever loved her because she was a bully, and I was tired of being her target. I told them she had won because she had them, and I no longer saw my parents the same way.
A year later, Amy and I got into another fight, and I was allowed to go live with my grandparents. My parents tried to keep in touch with me, but I made no effort. Eventually, I started telling people my parents had lied about me wanting them to foster and adopt Amy. People began treating my parents differently as a result, and they confronted me about this three weeks ago. They showed up at my grandparents' home and said we needed to talk. They mentioned me calling them liars, and I said they became liars the second they started fostering Amy. My parents told me I had a selfish outlook on the situation. I told them they chose Amy, so I didn't owe them or her a selfless outlook.

The general sentiment of the reactions was overwhelmingly supportive of the author, with most people agreeing that her parents had failed her by prioritizing Amy over their own daughter's well-being. Many pointed out the grave disservice the parents did by taking in and adopting a known bully, thereby making the author's home life intolerable. The majority of judgments emphasized that the parents' actions were selfish and narcissistic, placing their desire to feel good about fostering over the emotional and mental safety of their own biological children. Commenters also expressed disbelief and outrage that the parents would subject their child to such an environment and then expect her to support and accept it. Overall, the reactions conveyed strong disapproval of the parents' choices and validated the author's feelings and perspective.

One reaction pointed out that the parents did their daughter a great disservice by adopting Amy despite knowing about the bullying. The commenter noted, "Your parents did you a grave disservice when they chose to adopt Amy over your protests and lied about it to cover up the fact that you hadn't wanted her in your family because she bullied you." This person emphasized that the author's outlook was not selfish but rather a means of self-defense, urging the author to focus on building a life where she could thrive, free from the toxic environment created by her parents' decision.

Another reaction highlighted the parents' narcissistic tendencies, suggesting that they adopted Amy more for the social currency and the feel-good emotions they derived from the act, rather than considering their own children's feelings. The commenter remarked, "Your parents are narcissists who prioritize the 'feel good' emotions and social currency they get from fostering over the feelings of their own children." This person found it unfathomable that the parents would allow the author's bully into their home, thus making it a hostile environment and failing to protect both her and her younger brother.

A third reaction delved into the broader implications of bringing Amy into the household, stating that the parents were selfish in assuming family ties could conquer all existing problems. The commenter observed, "Incidentally, it wasn't a good environment for Amy either if OP was hostile to her living there. The parents were just monumentally selfish and decided that family could conquer all problems." This person implied that the parents misunderstood the complexities involved in fostering a child who had a contentious relationship with their own children, thereby failing to create a safe and loving home for everyone involved.

This heartbreaking account underscores the immense complexity and emotional turmoil that can arise when familial decisions are made without considering the full spectrum of their impact. The author's parents, in their pursuit of fostering and adopting Amy, seemingly prioritized their own sense of altruism over the well-being and safety of their biological children, resulting in a fractured family unit and a childhood marred by bullying and betrayal. This story serves as a stark reminder that fostering and adoption, while noble, require careful consideration of all parties' needs and emotional states. Those who aspire to help vulnerable children must also ensure that they do not inadvertently harm those already under their care, as the consequences can be deeply damaging and long-lasting.