A long-standing family tradition has been shaken up by one family's harsh treatment. When a husband decided to stand by his wife after she faced undue criticism, it led to a significant family fallout. Here’s his story detailing the events that led to this pivotal decision.

Ever since my dad was a kid, our family has had monthly family dinners, which are nicer than your average family meal. This tradition continued when my siblings and I were kids, with grandparents and everyone gathering for a special dinner together. As we grew older, instead of breaking off into separate groups, the family decided to include partners, spouses, and our kids all together. By the time I was 19, we took turns hosting each month to lessen the burden.
My wife was initially excited to be part of these dinners. She joined in during our relationship, and while I did the cooking at first, she eventually took over because she wanted to. Although my family seemed to get along with her before, they were overly critical of her cooking (except for my two younger siblings). She tried to please them but to no avail. I told them they could be kinder, but they insisted she should cook better or prepare different dishes. She never made anything they wouldn't eat, but nothing seemed right. My wife grew frustrated, and I grew suspicious.
We hosted a couple of months ago, and I told my wife we were going to pretend I did the cooking to test a theory. She thought they just didn't like her food, but I noticed no one else had the same level of complaints as my family did, even criticizing dishes they usually loved. She agreed to the plan. When my family thought I had cooked the meal, they loved it and praised how nice it was to have something different (it was curry). They applauded the idea of me taking over and complimented the food. My younger brother and sister weren't fooled but enjoyed watching the others dig a hole for themselves. When the rest of the family found out it was my wife's cooking, they tried hard to backtrack on their compliments. The rest of the dinner was tense, and my wife finally saw the truth. I told her I was done with these dinners and that she was my priority. She felt a little bad, and I reassured her by suggesting we can still have dinners with my younger siblings, which would be less stressful anyway.
When we missed last month’s dinner and this month’s as well, my parents and siblings started asking questions. I told them each time we would not attend again, but missing two dinners made them realize I was serious. They insisted we needed to be there, but I said never again because my wife does not deserve their disrespect. I told them they ruined what they wanted by being unkind to her. They accused me of overreacting, making relationship-harming choices, and treating them badly for simply having issues with my wife's cooking. They also said to think of our future kids and how they would miss out. This got to my wife, and I have been trying to reassure her about it.

The comments overwhelmingly supported the husband's decision to stand by his wife, with a general sentiment that the family’s issues were not with her cooking but with her personally. Most commenters judged the husband as "not wrong" (NTA) and commended him for protecting his wife from unfair treatment. They also pointed out the hypocrisy of the family members, who enjoyed the food when they thought it was cooked by him, emphasizing that the real problem lay in their attitudes toward his wife. Some speculated about possible underlying reasons for the family's behavior, such as personal biases or family dynamics. Commenters consistently praised the husband for refusing to subject his wife to further disrespect and suggested continuing new traditions with the supportive younger siblings instead. Many also highlighted the importance of teaching future children positive relationship dynamics by setting healthy boundaries and not tolerating mistreatment, even from family.

The top comments on the post echo the consensus that the husband is in the right for standing by his wife. One highly-rated response emphasized the clear issue: "It’s pretty clear the issue isn’t her food. It’s her. For whatever reason, they don’t seem to like her. Good for you for standing up to them." This commenter applauded the husband's actions, noting that the family’s problem lies not with the cooking but with the person preparing it, thereby supporting the decision to cease attending the family dinners.

Another top comment added, "Good on you for supporting your partner. When your family complains that you ruined a tradition, flip it back on them. The tradition was ruined when they spent years degrading your wife. The tradition was ruined because of their own actions.” This sentiment reinforces the idea that the family's behavior has already damaged the tradition, and that the husband made the right choice in prioritizing his wife's well-being.

Furthermore, another commenter offered a deeper reflection on the potential future implications: "NO you DO NOT want your future children surrounded by people who criticize their mom for no reason. You don't want them thinking it is OK for themselves to act like this or for future partners to treat your children like this." This advice highlights the importance of shielding not only the wife but also potential future children from an environment of unnecessary criticism and negativity, underscoring the necessity of the husband's decision to protect his immediate family.

In conclusion, the husband's firm stance in prioritizing his wife's well-being over a long-standing family tradition has garnered widespread support online. His clever method of exposing his family's unfair bias—using a meal they praised only when they believed it was cooked by him—clearly demonstrated the underlying issue wasn't the cooking but their treatment of his wife. While his family accused him of overreacting and potentially harming family relationships, it's evident that the real harm was caused by their own behavior. As he and his wife navigate this challenging situation, they are likely to foster a more respectful and loving environment, both for themselves and their potential future children, by setting strong boundaries and refusing to tolerate disrespect.