Sibling dynamics can often lead to tricky situations, especially when it comes to matters of fairness and finances. One individual is seeking clarity and feedback about refusing to split a Mother's Day bill equally with their siblings, who have children, while they do not. Read on to find out more about this controversial family dilemma.

I have two older sisters, both over 30 years old, while I am still in my 20s. They suggested taking our mom to lunch for Mother’s Day, and they were talking about splitting the expenses into three parts. Both of them have two kids each while I do not. Given past (bad) experiences where the kids were not considered in the bill but still ate, I told them I did not like the idea of splitting the bill into three parts since their kids should be taken into account. For context, the kids are not babies; one of them will soon turn 18. When I mentioned this, my sisters did not like it and called me confrontational. My mom even found out and, as usual, took their side.
To give you some more context about why it bothers me: A similar experience happened before during a trip where I had to pay one-third of all the expenses. My mom paid another third, and my sister paid the other third, which included her husband and kids. She thought my mom and I were oblivious to the whole thing, but my mom begged me not to say anything to avoid starting a fight. However, I think I have held my silence for long enough.
So, the question is, am I wrong for wanting the bill to be split differently, considering I do not have kids and I only want to pay for my share and my mom’s?

The general sentiment in the comments is overwhelmingly supportive of the original poster (OP). Most commenters agree that OP is not wrong for wanting a more equitable division of the bill, given that their siblings' children significantly increase the overall cost. The common judgement is that OP's siblings are taking advantage of them and that it's unreasonable to expect OP to subsidize the meals of their children, especially when one of them is nearly an adult. Many suggest that OP should either ask for separate checks or take their mom out for a one-on-one meal to avoid the unfair financial burden. There is also frustration expressed towards the mother for siding with the siblings, indicating a perceived favoritism and unwillingness to address the unfairness. Overall, the commenters encourage OP to stand firm and set clear boundaries to avoid being exploited in such situations.

One of the top comments sympathizes with the original poster's situation, stating clearly that the OP is not at fault. The commenter proposes that OP should stop joining dining and travel activities with their sisters, advising instead to plan a special event for their mother that involves just the two of them. The suggestion includes ideas like attending a painting class or a solo brunch, which would not only alleviate the financial burden on OP but also offer a more meaningful and enjoyable experience for their mother.

Another highly-rated comment condemns the behavior of OP's siblings as parasitic, criticizing them for trying to make OP subsidize their grown children's meals. The commenter is frustrated with family dynamics that often involve one sibling being taken advantage of to "keep the peace." They strongly recommend OP assert their right to pay only for their own meal and share of their mother and suggest asking for a separate check to avoid any guilt-tripping or manipulation.

A third comment, reflecting a similar sentiment, points out the option of making a light-hearted remark to emphasize the fairness of the situation: “I do understand why you want me to pay for your kids’ meals, but I'm sure you understand why I'm not going to do that.” This approach, the commenter suggests, should make it clear to OP's siblings that their expectations are unreasonable. They also propose the practical step of simply paying for OP’s own meal and contributing a portion towards their mother’s meal, which aligns with the majority view that OP should not be responsible for the additional costs incurred by their siblings’ children.

In conclusion, the original poster's frustration with splitting the bill evenly among siblings with vastly different family sizes is widely validated by commenters. The consensus is clear: it is unreasonable to expect a single person to shoulder an equal share of expenses when the other parties have significantly more dependents. By asserting boundaries and opting for separate checks, or organizing individual outings with their mother, OP can avoid being taken advantage of financially. This approach not only ensures fairness but also fosters healthier family relations by preventing feelings of resentment. Ultimately, standing firm on this matter is a necessary step for OP to maintain a sense of equity within their family dynamics.