A father recently faced a heated confrontation with his mother over the name he and his wife chose for their newborn son. The tension escalated to the point where he told his mother to leave and be more respectful. He now wonders if he went too far in defending his family's decision.

My wife and I, both in our late 20s, had our first child together in June. Before he was born, there was a lot of talk about names from different family members on both sides, but most of the pressure to disclose was on my side. We did not tell anyone what the name would be until after our son was born and we had left the hospital. My parents were disappointed when we announced our son's name.
My family is very traditional when it comes to naming. Each of us was named after grandparents, and that is how they believe everyone should name their children. On the other hand, my wife's family does not have a naming tradition; they just choose names without any fuss or insistence on certain ones. My wife's side tends to favor more uncommon and unusual names.
Our taste in names leans more towards my wife’s side than mine. This is how we ended up choosing the name Hollis for our son. My parents did not like this because they expected our son to be named either Jack (my father) or Parker (my father-in-law). I know they were really expecting a little Jack to be born, which added to their reaction. They questioned our decision to "break tradition," and I explained that it was not a tradition my wife's family followed, and we decided not to have one either.
Over the last couple of months, both parents have continued to question why and have wanted to discuss other names for future children. My mother has been the worst about it. She asked why we chose such an unusual name unlike the names in our family. I told her that our family was not the only family involved, but we also did not consider family tastes. We went with what we liked. She pointed out that our tastes were much like my in-laws'. I agreed but clarified that it was not about my in-laws' tastes; it was about our tastes. I told her I was done discussing the matter and since then, I change the topic or end the conversation when she brings it up or refuses to let it go.
We had a naming ceremony on Saturday, and my mother decided to dig her heels in about the name. She told me we had picked a stupid name, that she hated it, and wanted us to change it to Jack or Parker. She said we had no right to break a long-held tradition in our family, and that such traditions exist so that "foolish people cannot name their babies the worst names imaginable." She also said my in-laws must be smug, thinking they will have at least two stupidly named grandchildren since they already had all stupidly named kids. I lost my temper. I told her to shut up and accept that we are not naming our children like she and dad named me and my siblings. I told her she would need to leave and learn to be more respectful because I would not tolerate insults against my wife or her family. My mother hated being told to shut up and said I had no excuse for rudeness to her face. I thought she was crazy given how rude she had been.
Am I in the wrong for how I responded?

The general sentiment of the reactions was overwhelmingly supportive of the father's decision to stand up for his family's naming choices. Many people felt that his mother was being unreasonably rude and disrespectful, not only to him and his wife but also to his in-laws and their child. The most common judgment was that the father did nothing wrong and was justified in defending his family's choices. Several suggested that if the mother could not accept the name and continued her behavior, it might be necessary to limit or cut off contact to protect his wife and child from ongoing negativity. There was a shared feeling that the mother's insistence on tradition was less important than the parents' right to choose a name they loved for their child.

One of the most resonant reactions emphasized that the decision to name a child belongs solely to the parents, stating, "If your mother wants to have a say in naming a baby, then she should have another baby." The sentiment echoed the frustration many felt about the mother's unnecessary interference. The reaction went on to suggest that if the mother does not change her behavior, it might be wise to consider no contact to prevent the child from being exposed to such negativity.

Another strong reaction provided practical advice for future interactions, recommending that the father should set clear boundaries with his parents. It suggested saying, "Well parents, that was your tradition. We decided to start our own tradition as a family." The reaction further advised that the father should not tolerate any attempts from his parents to call the child by any name other than the one he and his wife had chosen. It encouraged taking immediate action by either showing the parents the door or leaving the venue if boundaries were crossed.

A third notable reaction commended the father's firm stance and proposed a potential way forward. It suggested communicating through a text or email to express how aghast he was at his mother's "insulting spewfest" and making it clear that contact would resume only after a heartfelt apology and a promise never to overstep again. This reaction supported the need for the father to defend his wife and child from further disrespect and implied that such an apology might not come easily or soon.

The father's decision to defend his family's choice of name for their child against his mother's traditional expectations has sparked a significant discussion about parental rights and respect. Many supported the father's actions, emphasizing that the choice to name a child rests solely with the parents and that traditions should not overshadow personal preferences. The overwhelming sentiment was that the father did nothing wrong and that he acted appropriately by setting boundaries to protect his wife and child from his mother's undue criticism. Ultimately, the father's resolve to ensure respect within his family dynamic serves as a powerful reminder that the well-being of the family unit comes first.