A woman recently shared her dilemma about whether she was wrong for being honest about her difficult pregnancy experience. After a misunderstanding with a new co-worker, she found herself excluded from social events and questioned her own actions. This has sparked a range of reactions and advice on how to handle the situation.

A new co-worker started three months ago. Let’s call her Linda. She seems pretty nice, which is why I’m really not sure about all this.
At my work, we have a tradition where once a new employee successfully completes their probation, we go out for a team lunch. Nothing fancy, but something nice to celebrate. Linda passed her probation, so we went out for lunch.
As we were eating, we all got to talking, and the topic of ‘the magic of pregnancy/childbirth’ came up. Everyone was sharing sweet moments from their pregnancy. I enthusiastically joined in but didn’t share any of my own. I think Linda noticed because she specifically turned to me and said:
Linda: “You had twins, didn’t you? That must have been a wonderful experience.”
I smiled and said something along the lines of how I wished my pregnancy and birth had been as positive an experience as theirs had been. To be clear, it was not said sarcastically at all.
The truth is, I hated every moment of being pregnant. I could write a long list of all the ‘magical’ symptoms I had, but I’ll just give you the highlights: Horrific vivid nightmares, hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness), debilitating migraines, and a metallic taste in my mouth.
And then the birth…. Honestly, I feel like anything that could go wrong (but not be life-threatening) did go wrong. Worst of all, due to some of the complications, I ended up being kept in the hospital for a while, so I missed the first few days with my girls.
It’s safe to say I hated every moment of being pregnant, and every moment of labor. It was not a magical experience by any stretch of the imagination.
I didn’t say any of this to Linda; I just responded as I mentioned. After my reply, Linda started getting short with me. Later, I asked her privately what was going on. She snapped and told me what I said was ‘insensitive’ and ‘undermined’ their experiences, and she told me I was wrong for it.
Since then, she’s sort of cooled off and is less hostile (or at least less openly hostile), but last week she invited all the women in the team to a ladies' night. Everyone but me. Now, I don’t mind so much, since ladies' nights are not really my thing, but the fact that she pointedly excluded me has made things awkward. I feel like I need to do something.
I’m not really in the mood for drama. I have enough of that in my life right now. I don’t need more, so I haven’t confronted her about it yet. And as I said, she is otherwise a really nice person, normally pretty friendly and easy-going. So I’m left wondering if I really was wrong. Was what I said insensitive? Did it undermine their experience? Before I ask her about it, I could use some perspective because I honestly just don’t know. Was I wrong?

The general sentiment of the reactions overwhelmingly supports the author, with the most common judgements indicating that she did nothing wrong by sharing her own pregnancy experience. Commenters largely agree that Linda's reaction was overly harsh and uncalled for, and many suggest that her exclusion of the author from the ladies' night was petty and indicative of potential workplace bullying. Those who offered advice recommended keeping things professional with Linda, documenting any further instances of hostility, and considering reporting the behavior to HR if it persists. Several commenters also shared their own negative pregnancy experiences, emphasizing that every woman's journey is different and valid, and that candid discussions about the less-than-magical aspects of pregnancy are important.

One of the most compelling reactions highlighted the significant challenges of pregnancy by sharing a personal account. The commenter expressed empathy for the author, stating, "I also had a very miserable pregnancy and a serious life-threatening event (heart failure)." They reassured the author that she wasn't at fault and underscored the importance of sharing diverse pregnancy experiences without feeling pressured to conform to an idealized narrative.

Another insightful reaction came from a commenter who identified Linda's behavior as indicative of a mean-spirited character. This individual advised caution, stating, "She has shown that she's very petty by excluding you from a ladies' night event." They recommended that the author be wary of working with Linda on future projects and to maintain strong relationships with other colleagues to prevent further isolation.

A third reaction emphasized the importance of honesty about pregnancy experiences. The commenter shared their own struggles, saying, "I hated every minute of it too. Sure I was excited to be having a baby, but the actual experience of pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding were incredibly unpleasant." They argued that acknowledging both positive and negative experiences is crucial and suggested that Linda might be dealing with her own sensitivities, possibly related to fertility issues. This viewpoint offered a nuanced perspective, urging the author to approach the situation with understanding but to remain firm in sharing her truth.

The reactions to this story reinforce that pregnancy is a deeply personal and varied experience, deserving of honesty and respect. While some may have a magical journey, others, like the author, face significant challenges that should not be dismissed. The overwhelming support for the author reveals a shared understanding that diverse experiences should be acknowledged and validated. By encouraging a culture of openness and empathy, we can ensure that everyone's story is heard and respected, fostering a more inclusive and supportive environment both at work and beyond.