In a recent letter to an advice column, a teenage girl shared her dilemma about moving in with her dad full-time after her mom blended their family with her partner and his kids. Was she acting spoiled or just standing up for her own comfort and space? Read on to find out how she navigated this tricky situation.

My mom recently moved in with her partner of three years. They bought a place together and plan to get married. Before moving, I (16 years old, female) always shared a room with my sister (10 years old, female), while my brother (12 years old, male) had his own room. However, because my mom's partner has a 15-year-old daughter and his other kids are boys, they didn't want his daughter to share a room with the boys. So, my sister was moved into a room with my brother, and I was told I would be sharing a room with my mom's partner's daughter. I didn't like that idea.
I told my mom I would rather share a room with my brother and let my sister share with her partner's daughter. My mom said that wasn't a good idea. My brother and sister then suggested that the three of us could share a room, but my mom cited space as the reason that couldn't happen.
I didn't want to share a bedroom with someone I'm not close to. I love my siblings, so sharing with them is no big deal. But I don't love the 15-year-old, so it was not something I was comfortable with. My mom tried to argue that I would have to share a space when I go to college, but I won't be going to college; I plan to pursue a trade. Even if I end up with roommates, we would have our own spaces. I told her all this and also talked to her about my decision to stay with my dad full time. It was written in their custody order that once we reach 16, we can make that decision if we want to.
My mom didn't think I was serious. The wake-up call was when I moved nothing into her new house and only stayed for short visits rather than overnight visits. My dad fully supports this.
My mom and her partner aren't happy. Her partner is especially unhappy because his daughter is now the oldest and has no one close in age to hang out with during family time. According to my mom and her partner, she isn't that close with her brothers. I told them that I'm not here to be her entertainment or companion and that I would hang out with my siblings anyway, and the age gap is not a problem the way they think it is.
My mom gave me an ultimatum to move in with them and stop living full time with my dad. When I didn't change my mind, she told me I was acting spoiled and mentioned that I had always shared a room. I said sharing a room was not the issue; I've always shared with siblings, not another random kid. My mom said it was entitled of me to say that, and she also cursed out my dad for allowing me to live with him. She can't fight it though, it's in their custody papers.
Am I wrong?

The general sentiment of the commenters was overwhelmingly supportive of the poster, with the majority of them reassuring her that she was not wrong in her actions. Most comments expressed empathy towards her situation and criticized the mother's and her partner's handling of the living arrangements. Many commenters pointed out that her mother and her partner had unrealistic expectations of the blended family dynamic and failed to consider the children's comfort and preferences. Several also commended the poster for standing up for herself and making a mature decision to live with her dad, where she felt more comfortable. There was also a recurring suspicion that the mother's insistence may have been driven by needing the child support or by a desire to use the poster as a built-in babysitter or companion for the 15-year-old stepdaughter. Overall, the commenters were firmly on the side of the poster, validating her feelings and decisions.

Among the top comments, one stood out as particularly insightful, emphasizing the flawed decision-making of the mother and her partner. The commenter wrote, "NTA. Mom and stepdad were being downright foolish moving in together without having discussed this with you and your siblings and coming to a solution first. Doubly foolish that mom doesn’t understand you’re a young adult with options." This sentiment was echoed throughout many of the responses, with people agreeing that the parents should have involved all the children in such significant decisions, especially considering the different age dynamics and comfort levels.

Another top commenter provided a perspective that suggested ulterior motives behind the arrangements. They speculated, "This reeks of your mother and her partner having some other agenda. Is it possible that they are depending on child support from your dad to pay a mortgage they cannot afford themselves?" This comment resonated with numerous readers, who also questioned whether financial motivations or the convenience of having a built-in babysitter and companion for the partner's daughter were factors in the mother's insistence.

Lastly, a poignant comment highlighted the emotional and practical aspects of the situation, stating, "NTA. You did what was best for you, and you obviously care for your siblings. I wouldn’t be surprised if they follow as soon as they can. How do they get along with their new roommates?" This comment underscored the poster's maturity and concern for her siblings, while also hinting at potential future decisions her younger siblings might make. It reinforced the idea that the poster's choice was valid and necessary for her well-being, a sentiment widely shared by many other commenters.

In conclusion, the majority of readers fully supported the teenager's decision to move in with her father, affirming her right to make choices that ensure her comfort and well-being. The widespread support highlighted the importance of considering children's preferences and comfort in blended family situations, rather than imposing unrealistic expectations. The mother's and her partner's failure to address the children's needs and their seemingly ulterior motives were major points of criticism. Ultimately, the teenager was commended for her maturity and the decisive action she took to prioritize her own happiness in a challenging family dynamic.