What would you do if unexpected guests crashed your family vacation and had no plans for lodging or food? One woman faced this dilemma when her husband's family showed up unannounced, expecting to stay in their already cramped rental house. Read on to find out how she navigated this stressful situation.

I (37F) took a beach vacation with my husband (40M) and our 3 kids (4, 2, 3 months). We also invited his sister, her husband, and their 2 kids (4, 3) as we had a detached bedroom from the main house and we genuinely like hanging out with them. I told her we wanted to keep it small this year since we have a new baby, I’m pretty fresh postpartum, and I didn’t want it to be too stressful.
While we were at the beach, we saw my mother-in-law, father-in-law, stepson (20), and his girlfriend pull up. This is a three-hour drive from where we live. They came to surprise us at the beach since we haven’t seen my stepson in two months. My sister-in-law said they've been planning this for weeks and she gave them the mile marker. This was a nice surprise, but afterward, they expected to stay with us in our one-bedroom, one-bathroom rental house with no real doors (only sliding doors). They had no plans for lodging or eating, so we got to work to make dinner, which was fine because I had packed extra food. Due to space constraints, I put the baby down for a nap in the restroom (we had two pack-and-plays in there). When I went back to check on him a little later, my stepson and his girlfriend were in the transparent glass shower together, steps away from my 3-month-old baby.
I went back to the kitchen and told my sister-in-law they could not stay with us. My husband told them they could, because he is out of touch with what that would actually mean (six adults, two toddlers sharing one bathroom where two babies are sleeping). I told her what I just saw with my stepson and his girlfriend in the shower, again reminding her it was too many people going in and out of the bathroom with two kids asleep in there. She understood and started looking up hotels.
My stepson's girlfriend was already scoping out the couch and she could have slept there, but after wrestling two babies to sleep in the bathroom and my 4-year-old to sleep in the actual bed, the couch was the only place I could sit and have a glass of wine at the end of the night in peace.
After getting a hotel room, they stayed at the beach house until midnight playing poker on the patio and shouting. My husband asked his dad to please be quiet since the kids were sleeping and my father-in-law loudly shouted “shut up” and kept playing.
This has since caused major conflict with my husband as he believes we should have just let four additional people stay since “they are family.” We paid for half the hotel room and my sister-in-law paid the other half.
For context, we have been to the beach one other time with my sister-in-law (last year) but have never been with my mother-in-law and father-in-law. My stepson has been gone for two months but will be in town for the next three weeks, so it’s not like we wouldn’t have seen him the next day when we returned. I understand they wanted this to be a fun surprise, but no one considered how this would impact us as a family traveling with three small children in a relatively small beach house. Am I wrong for making my in-laws stay in a hotel after they surprised us on our family vacation?

The general sentiment among the reactions was one of strong support for the author's decision. Many felt that the surprise visit was rude and inconsiderate, especially given the space constraints and the lack of planning for food and lodging by the unexpected guests. The most common judgements emphasized the impracticality and stress of accommodating so many additional people in such a small space, particularly with a new baby and young children involved. Several reactions pointed out that the husband's family had overstepped boundaries and criticized the husband for not understanding the logistical nightmare his wife would have faced. There was also significant outrage over the stepson and his girlfriend using the bathroom shower so close to where the baby was napping. Overall, commenters largely sided with the author and advised setting firm boundaries to prevent future disruptions.

One commenter recounted a personal experience that resonated with the author's situation, describing how their aunt, uncle, and cousins would frequently show up unannounced for Thanksgiving, causing significant stress for their parents. "They would show up with their family of five as a surprise, and my mom would scramble to get extra food," the reaction noted. The commenter advised the author to put an end to such unplanned visits now to avoid having their future vacations ruined by similar disruptions.

Another reaction focused on the lack of logistical consideration by the sister-in-law, who had approved the surprise visit without thinking through the consequences. The commenter found the situation incredibly rude and inconsiderate, particularly towards the author who was managing three small children. They also criticized the husband for downplaying the severity of the situation, suggesting that he was likely not as involved in the childcare and household management duties.

A particularly vivid reaction highlighted the complete disregard for common courtesy and boundaries demonstrated by the in-laws' behavior, especially that of the stepson and his girlfriend. The commenter was outraged by their decision to use the shower in the bathroom where the baby was napping, stating that any sane adult would not do such a thing without alerting a parent. This reaction underscored the importance of setting boundaries and maintaining clear communication to prevent such a blatant lack of respect and consideration in the future.

Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially when unexpected visitors disrupt what was meant to be a peaceful vacation. The author's decision to set boundaries and ensure her immediate family's comfort was met with overwhelming support, showcasing the importance of standing up for oneself in stressful situations. The incident underscored the need for clear communication and mutual respect among family members to avoid turning what should be joyful occasions into logistical nightmares. As many reactions suggested, sometimes saying "no" is necessary to protect one's mental well-being and ensure a harmonious family life.